Er We've Got a Small Problem
by MissLinuxthePenguin
Summary: As 8:00 am comes and passes in 12 Grimmauld Place, bizarre events take place. Who is the five year old in the kitchen? Is he really Remus Lupin? What are Fred and George hiding? And where is all the toast coming from? Is there an infinite amount of toast?
1. Who are You?

**Chapter: Who are you?**

MissLinuxthePenguin

* * *

At precisely 8:00 am, a small boy of age five wandered into dark bleak kitchen of 20 Grimmauld Place and found himself face-to-face with a pink-haired witch. 

"You're not my mother..." He pulled up a chair, and sat down, staring at the pink hair.

"No, " She said "No, I'm not. The question is, who is your mother?" The strange-pink-haired layd had delt with strange things before, but this... this was one of the strangest.

"No." He replied, taking a piece of toast "The question is, who are _you _ and why are _you_ in my house."

She laughed, his confident aura ruined by the fact that he had jelly on his nose.

"Little Sir, I do believe you are mistaken. This is not your house." She said, handing him a napkin. He looked ... bewildered. In an instant, he regained his composure.

"You have a point." He took the napkin "So.. where am-" The little boy never finished, interrupted as a lanky, tall red-haired boy rushed into the kitchen.

"GEORGE!" the red-haired boy shouted "I FOUND HIM" Within seconds, another red-haired boy was standing besides him in the kitchen.

"Bloody hell. I can't believe it worked."

"What worked?" The strange pink-haired lady asked, looking at the two red-haired boys worriedly.

"Er.. well.. "

"You see.."

"Er..."

The little boy took this as an invitation to introduce himself to the strange-pink-haired lady. "My name is Remus. Remus Lupin." And with that, the strange-pink-haired lady fainted.

* * *

At precisely 8:30 am, the two red-haired boys had managed to drag the strange pink-haired lady out of the room and into the living room, where they managed to put her on the couch. 

The two then turned their attention to the little boy, who sat there the whole time eating his toast.

"Now you..." said the first red-haired boy "stay here."

"Until we come back." the second said, as the two hurried out of the room, leaving the little boy with barely enough time to say "okay."

The little boy sat there, munching on his toast looking around the strange kitchen. It was different than anything.. there was a sort of dark feeling to it yet another lighter feeling. Shrugging, he turned back to his toast.

* * *

At 9:00 am, a tall man with long black hair wandered into the kitchen and found himself face-to-face with a the little boy. 

The man simply poured himself a cup of tea, sat down and took a piece of toast. The little boy stared at him.

The two sat in silence, both munching on their respective pieces of toast until the man asked, "Remus?"

The little boy instantly became very alarmed and stood on his chair, worriedly muttering "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME.. WHERE AM I?.. WHO ARE YOU?"

The man chuckled. "One, I'm a friend of... your father's ... Two, you're in my house.. and Three, my name is Sirius."

The little boy stared at him. "So... you're not going to hurt me?"

"Nope."

Sighing in relief, the little boy sat down and resumed eating his toast. "So.. who was the strange pink-haired lady?"

The man laughed again. "Oh, her.. She's my cousin."

* * *

At precisely 9:30 am, the strange-pink-haired lady woke up and rushed into the kitchen, hysterical. 

"SIRIUS!" She shouted "GEORGE! FRED! THEY DID SOMETHING TO R-" She stopped, upon seeing the little boy.

She stared, he stared. The man laughed. "So, Fred and George are behind this? I should have known... I should have known" He chuckled into his tea.

"But.. we've got.. to do.. something."

"True, but we can't do anything on an empty stomach. Sit down. Eat." He commanded, giving his favorite cousin a death glare.

"Okay" the strange pink-haired lady said, sitting down "Okay, I give up. I'll eat something, happy?"

"Very."

* * *

At precisely 10:00 am, another adult found his way into the kitchen and in result, into the path of the little boy. 

"Morning Sirius, Morning Tonks." A taller, older looking red-haired man sat down, after pouring himself a cup of tea.

"Morning Arthur" The strange-pink-haired lady and the black-haired man replied.

"Whose your friend?" He asked the two, upon sighting the little boy.

"My name's Remus!"

The red-haired man sputtered tea. "What?"

The little boy looked at him with a funny look on his face. " I said my name's Remus."

* * *

At precisely 10:30 am, four teenagers stumbled into the kitchen and sat down, barely noticing the little boy. 

"Ronald, pass the... " A girl with rather bushy-brown hair said, "the... " she looked like she was going to fall asleep at any moment.. "the .. butter."

"Hermione, get your own bloody butter." The a red-haired boy said.

A black-haired boy and a red-haired girl snickered at this. The little boy stared at the two.

"You've got something on you're head..." He said, pointing to the black-haired boy's forehead.

The red-haired girl snickered. "Yes, yes he does. Its called a scar."

The black-haired boy blushed, and the red-haired boy and brown-haired girl stopped bickering long enough to turn around and look at the little boy.

"Er..." the black-haired boy said, rather embarrassedly, "If you don't mind me asking.. who are you?"

The little boy looked at them. "My name.. " he said in a huff, as he was rather tired of people asking him the same question, "Is Remus."

The black-haired boy promptly fell off his chair.

* * *

At precisely 11:00 am, an old man with a very long gray beard walked into the kitchen and sat down next to the little boy. 

The little boy wasted no time in saying, "Before you ask, I'll tell you, my name is Remus Lupin."

The old man took a box out of his pocket before saying "Yes, I know."

The little boy looked at the old man, "You do?"

The old man nodded, before asking "Want a lemondrop?" At the sight of the little boy's puzzled expression the old man added "They're candy."

The little boy took one, and ate it. He smiled.

"Now, Remus Lupin, you've got one long day ahead of you..."

* * *

A/N: review? flame? give me ideas? tell me about your five year old self? 


	2. A Million Points of View

**Chapter: A Million Points of View  
**

MissLinuxthePenguin

* * *

Tonk's PoV

Why is he staring at me?

* * *

Remus' PoV

Why does she have pink hair?

* * *

Tonk's PoV

Does he think my hair is weird?

* * *

Remus' PoV

I like it. Its pretty.

* * *

Tonk's PoV

HE THINKS MY HAIR IS WEIRD.

* * *

Sirius' Pov

Its quiet...

* * *

Harry's PoV

He. Short. Five. Bloody. Hell. Remus

* * *

Ginny's PoV

Is Harry dead? (waves head in front of Harry's face) Yup. He's dead.

* * *

Harry's PoV

Why is she waving her hand in my face?

* * *

Ginny's PoV

I KILLED HIM. I KILLED HARRY POTTER

...Well... I didn't but, I COULD BE CHARGED AS AN ACCESSORY!

* * *

Harry's PoV

Why is she staring at me like that?

* * *

Tonk's PoV 

HE HATES MY HAIR. I KNOW IT. HE HATES IT.

* * *

Remus' PoV

Is the black-haired boy dead?

The red-haired girl keeps looking at him funny.

* * *

Sirius' PoV

Wow. I... Its quiet.

Very quiet.

Too quiet.

I should do something about that.

"I LIIKE TOAST."

* * *

Tonk's PoV

REMUS HATES MY HAIR DOES-

wait. did sirius just said he liked toast?

* * *

Remus' PoV

Why do the red-haired boy and brown-haired girl keep fighting?

Hey. Did the black haired man just said he liked toast?

And he said he was a friend of my father?

* * *

Sirius' PoV

Why isn't anyone talking,

I mean I went out there and LAID IT ALL OUT THERE.

I confessed my love for toast, and they DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY!

* * *

Remus' PoV

"Er.. I like toast too."

Did I just say that?

Yes, judging by the surprised look on the faces of them... I did.

* * *

Tonk's PoV

Did Little Remus just say that he liked toast too?

* * *

Sirius' PoV

I bet the little bugger likes toast. HE ATE ALL OF IT.

* * *

Remus' PoV

Wait. Where's the ... rest of the toast?

HE ATE IT.

THE... the black-haired man ate all the toast.

* * *

Sirius' PoV

OH THIS THIS IS WAR LITTLE REMUS

* * *

Remus' PoV

I SHALL GET EVEN, BLACK HAIRED MAN. I SHALL

* * *

Tonk's PoV

Are Little Remus and Sirius having a... staring contest?

* * *

Ginny's PoV

Yup. He died.

* * *

Harry's PoV

Why won't she stop staring at me?

* * *

Ginny's PoV

GREAT MERLIN! HES NOT DEAD.

"EEEEEEEK."

* * *

Harry's PoV

SHIT WHY OH WHY DID SHE HAVE TO SCREAM? OW MY EARS..

* * *

MEANWHILE

* * *

Fred's PoV

"FRED WE ARE DEAD, SCREWED, AND ... DEAD." George doesn't.. er.. handle stress very well, and the thought of what mum would do if she ever found out that we were responsible for the little mishap this morning... is definitely a scary thought.

"BREATH GEORGE. JUST CALM DOWN. WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO FIX THIS."

"Okay. FIX THIS.. Wait, have we tried reversing the ingredient order?"

* * *

BACK AT GRIMMAULD PLACE

* * *

Arthur's PoV

This is a prime example of the perfect situation in which a ... what was it called?

The muggle-noise-maker thing...

A FOGHORN!

Yes, a prime example of the perfect situation in which a fog horn would be perfect and very useful.

Now, where am I going to find a foghorn...

* * *

Dumbledore's PoV

here's a llama

there's a llama

and another little llama

fuzz...

* * *

Hermione's PoV

BLOODY SODDING IDIOT.

"RONALD. DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU AGIAN...

* * *

Ron's PoV

"NOT TO SPILL THE JAM!"

WHY WON'T SHE SHUT UP! IT'S JUST JAM FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!

* * *

Hermione's PoV

He's WASTING JAM.

MY FAVORITE JAM.

THE JAM THAT I HAD NO IDEA EXISTED A MINUTE AGO .. BUT ITS MY FAVORITE... now.

* * *

Ron's PoV

Oh shit. I've made her really mad. She's got that evil glint in her eyes.. shitshitshitshitsh...

* * *

Hermione's PoV

MUWHAHAHAHHA. spiders. MUWHAHAHHAHAHAHA. SPIDERS.. MUWHAHAHAHHA.

If Ron wants to play this game, oh we'll play it.. (laughs evilly)

* * *

Ron's PoV

Did she just cackle?

i'm.. screwed.

* * *

MEANWHILE

* * *

George's PoV

(cuz it was Fred's last time..)

"So, you actually think this will work?"

"POSITIVE. ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE. All we have to do is find a way to make sure he drinks it.."

"We could put it in all the food?"

"Nah, wouldn't work... we'd have a bunch of albus-dumbledores on our hands if anyone else got any..."

".. you mean a repeat of the goblet of fire?"

"definitely."

"Fred, I know that look on your face. What are you suggesting?"

"His Secret Chocolate Stash!"

"... Have I told you lately that you're brilliant?"

"Not lately, George, not lately.."

"Well, Fred you're brilliant.


	3. Polyjuice, Mr Lupin, and Little Girls

**Chapter: Polyjuice, Mr.Lupin, and Little Girls**

Miss Linux the Penguin

* * *

As the smell of tea drifted through the kitchen, a calmness settled into place. Each occupant had time to reconsider the events of the morning (and those who hadn't been witnesses, had the chance to recover from the shock of seeing the five year old Remus J. Lupin). And for the first time in a long time, 12 Grimmuald Place was quiet and un-eventful (in relativity). 

Dumbledore was the first to finish his cup of tea, and brought up the ever-pressing matter of the start of school (which just happened to be that very day).

"Molly," During the time of peace, Molly Weasley had found her way into the kitchen, and for the time being, had chosen to ignore the 'little' problem that sat in front of her. As an experienced mother, she sat back and enjoyed taking her time. Pacing herself, creating fear in the wrongful minds as they tried to fix their errors. When the proper time came about, she would be ruthless and unerring - taking no prisoners and showing no mercy. But until then, she sat back and drank her tea. "Re- Moony and Tonks were originally the planned escorts for today's trip to the Platform, correct?"

After pausing to take another sip of her tea, Molly answered, "I suppose so, but as the current... situation prevents that, we shall need to find an alternate plan." Ron, Harry, Ginny and Hermione starred at Mrs. Weasley, in shock and denial. The four had expected anger- and lots of it. And this current lack of was frightening.

Even more frightening? The evil glint in the one and only Sirius Black's (Maurader, Chaos Creator, Prankster, Master of Mayhem, King of Kiniving, Prince of Pranks, Etc. Etc) eyes.

"Molly," Aforementioned Maurader said, pausing for a moment, "Perhaps Moony and Tonks could still escort said trip. With some help, perchance?"

It was at this point, Arthur Weasley found his place within the conversation, laughing he said"Sirius, with what kind of help?"

"Magical Help." Sirius replied, the glint in his eyes sparkling even more.

* * *

Later

* * *

"WHAT?" Nymphadora Tonks was aghast. "You want to do WHAT?" Sirius had had some crazy plans in the past, but this, oh this went beyond crazy. But then again, she had to hand it to her cousin, this current scheme had its stronger points. 

"Its EASY." Sirius whined. "All we- no I've got to do is take the potion, and TADA! I'm Moony, you're you, and well... Remus downstairs is.. well Remus. Its brilliant!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No"

* * *

Ten Minutes Later

* * *

"Please?" 

"No."

"Please?"

"NO."

"PRETTY PLEASE WITH SUGAR ON TOP AND CHOCOLATE FROGS AND COCKROACHE CLUSTE-"

"Fine."

* * *

Half and Hour Later

* * *

"I can't believe it bloody worked." Standing in front of Nyphamdora Tonks was ... Remus J. Lupin- at his normal age. And standing next to her? Remus J. Lupin - at five years old. 

"I told you it would work" Sirius-Remus said, grinning from ear to ear. Small-Remus was puzzled by the strange behavior of the two, wondering just when he would find time to get his revenge. Afterall, the tall black-haired man had eaten toast that was rightfully his.

"I... Well, lets see if Molly agrees." Tonks was flabbergasted, Polyjuice potion was supposed to lose its abilities within days, yet according to Sirius this potion had been in existence for too many years to count.

The two Remus-es nodded in agreement, and left to find Molly Weasley. Leaving Tonks to sort out her shock and confusion.

* * *

MEANWHILE

IN A CORNER OF THE KITCHEN. A DARK DARK CORNER

* * *

"Now, where is the choco-" 

"OW! that was my foot..."

"Er.. Sorry bout that, so where's the hidden cupboard?"

"I don't know."

"OH STOP COMPLAINING FRED. I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR SODDING FOOT!"

"You are?"

"Yes, Fred. I am."

"That's all I wanted you to say. And, look the cupboard opened!"

"You have the chocolate right?"

"Course I do."

"Good, things can only get better now..."

* * *

MEANWHILE. BACK TO THE OTHER ... PLANS.

Tonk's PoV

* * *

I had suspected that Molly would have enough sense to end Sirius' kiniving plan before anything went wrong. 

I had assumed her mothering instincts and womenly intiution would have said : BAD IDEA. NO.

But, I had made a ass out of myself. And in turn, lost faith in my fellow females.

Even Ginny and Hermione agreed to it.

WILLINGLY.

sigh What I do for my friends... But before I go along with ANY of SIRIUS's plans, I need chocolate. and FAST.

Now, where would I be if i was a bar of chocolate...

In Remus' Secret Chocolate Cupboard of DOOM! that's where

(EEEEKKK!)

(CRASH!)

Oh Bugger It. The bloody cupboard is impossible to loca-

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.

No Pain, No Gain. And it looks like I just gained one beautiful bar of Honeyduke's Fines-

* * *

Moments Earlier in the Living Room

NORMAL PoV

* * *

"RONALD. YOU CAN'T BRING EVERYTHING!" Hermione screamed, turning a rather... rare shade of purple. 

"You think they'll ever get a clue?" Ginny asked, not bothering to stop reading her copy of the Daily Prophet.

"Na. Its too much fun to watch them fighting, they wouldn't rob us of our favorite past time, would they?"

"Course not," Ginny replied, very happy to see that her favorite green eyed seeker was back to normal - or at least not scared to come near her.

At that precise moment in time, a Remus Lupin jumped out from behind the couch, causing Ginny to shriek.

"EEEEKK."

And in result, Harry's ears to die a painful death ... again.

In the face of pain, aforementioned Remus John Lupin just smiled sweetly at his tormentees, and ran off to find someone else to annoy.

"CRASH"

"What was that?" Hermione turned to the kitchen, forgetting about Ron.

"Mommy?" A small meek voice ventured from the kitchen, as a small little girl wandered into view.

A small girl with bright pink hair.

* * *

MEANWHILE

IN A VERY DUSTY ATTIC

Sirius' PoV

* * *

YAHHHH! 

Finally, I have a chance to reek havoc in the outside world.

Today is a beautiful day for chaos.

* * *

Remus' PoV

* * *

You, Mr. Black Haired Man, ate my toast. 

Now You shall pay.

"BOOO!"

* * *

BACK DOWN STAIRS

* * *

"HOLY FU-" 

Hermione took this as an invitation to pick the little pink haired girl up and cover her ears.

And what followed was a record breaking sentence, filled to the brim with some words that didn't even belong to the English Language.

Of course, Ron took this as an invitation to start laughing which earned him another death glare from a certain book worm. Which he took as an invitation to go find the rest of the luggage.


	4. Discovering the laws of the Universe

**Chapter : Discovering the Laws of the Universe  
**

MissLinuxthePenguin

* * *

Throughout time, many grand and remarkable discoveries have been made. Discoveries that have been endeared by humankind and regarded as indispensable. 

And at the current moment, one of these utmost important discoveries was being re-discovered, as the Weasley Twins watched their plan crumble to bits. _  
_

_If something can go wrong, it will go wrong..._

_And that became blatantly clear that morning (or afternoon, rather)._

_"So..." Molly was befuzzled, the twins (she reckoned it was them) had just dug themselves a deeper hole (which, was rather unusual) and she was left without a plan for the next step, "What are we going to do about this?"_

_The occupants of 12 Grimmauld Place were gathered in the Kitchen, trying to decide what to do about the current.. state.. that two of the members were in._

_(of course, Forge and Gred had retreated - ran back to their hiding spot...)_

_"Well..." Remus-Sirius drawled, "I think the previous plan is ... scratched." He glared at Little-Remus. The small boy just smirked evilly - a reminder of the maruaderesque behavior that was so publicly displayed during his time at Hogwarts._

_And for the sake of his lost plan, Sirius reversed the Polyjuice potion and was .. himself again._

_"COUSIN SIRIUS!" The little girl shrieked, throwing her arms around her favorite cousin's legs._

_The small boy's smirk vanished in an instant - replaced by a look of utter jealousy. It was now Sirius' turn to smirk..  
__  
This could work out very much to my advantage_ INSERT EVIL CACKLE

_Little Tonks just stared at the two- wondering why the sky was blue. And instantly, a cascade of blue curls took the place of the previous pink spikes..._

* * *

___  
A/N: PLOT OUTLINE  
_

___1st day : five _

___2nd day : six (CHIBIS!)_

___3rd day : seven_

___4th day : eight_

___5th day : nine_

___6th day : ten_

___7th day : eleven  
_

___8th day : twelve_

___9th day : thirteen_

___10th day : fourteen  
_

___11th day : fifteen  
_

___12th day : sixteen_

___13th day : seventeen  
_


	5. Enter : Sugar

**Chapter: ENTER: SUGAR**

MissLinuxthePenguin

* * *

Sirius Black had very very very limited experience with children.

There was Tonks as a ten-year old (many, many, many years ago), Harry as a baby, and Harry as a moody teenager.

Sufficient enough, he was no were prepared for the two time bombs sitting in front of him.

"Sirius!" The Tiny-Tonks screeched "I'M HUNGGRRRRRRYYY." Glass shook, windows shattered, and somewhere in a distant world James Potter was laughing.

"Er..."

And Sirius Black did what any male would do in such situation. He handed a large, bar of chocolate to the small girl, muttering about Merlin and irony.

"SIRRRRRRIUUS!" Little-Remus yelled "I WAAAANTTT SOOMMEE TOO!" And with that, Sirius Black made his second mistake.

Check.

The five year olds grinned evilly as they devoured the two chocolate bars.

In seconds the bars were gone. And the two little mouths were screaming again.

Nailing his coffin shut, Padfoot handed the two a bag of sugar-filled sweets and walked out of the room.

Check Mate.

* * *

Little Remus had an idea. 

An idea involving stairs.

And he was very clear about it too.

"Remus, what are you doing?" Tiny Tonks (A/N: heh. they start w/ T!) looked at the boy strangely, trying to turn her hair the same shade of dirty blonde that graced his head. It wasn't working.

"Er.." Tiny Tonks looked like a .. sunflower. A .. pretty sunflower, but a sunflower none the less."I have a plan."

"What kind of plan?"

"A plan involving stairs!" Little Remus looked extremely proud of himself- Tiny Tonks giggled, turning a bright green.

"Can I help?"

"'Course, but you have to do what I say." _Boys_ Tiny Tonks thought, turning blue. _Stupid_

* * *

_The world officially hates me. _Sirius Black was frustrated. 

His wonderfully devious plan, had cracked into pieces within minutes.

Not to say that ALL of his wonderfully devious plans were eventually ruined COUGHjustmostCOUGH

But this one was truly, a loss.

When one plan fails, find another one.. and that, good madams and sirs, was what Sirius Black was currently doing.

'Two five year olds.. and one raving, ex-convict... Molly must be losing her touch..."

* * *

Somewhere, in the mist of muggle London, Molly Weasley felt a cold chill in the air and made a mental note to hurt Sirius. 

Badly.

* * *

Back in Grimmuald Place, the sound of breaking glass echoed through the dark hallways and bleak corridors. 

In an instant, Padfoot was sprinting down the stairs towards the kicten and -

as his feet left the second-to-last step he felt a strange pressure on his ankle.

And with that, Sirius Black 'gracefully' tumbled onto the floor in a head of robes.

Looking up, into the grinning face of Little Remus.

"Boo." The boy simply said, eyes on fire with evil childish joy.

Tiny Tonks, who was now sporting a rather fetching shade of navy blue giggled.

* * *

As she waved goodbye to her children- both biological and non- Molly Weasley smiled. And decided that maybe, just maybe, Sirius Black could be spared. 

For that day.


	6. Seven O'Clock in the House of Black

**Chapter : Seven O'Clock in the House of Black**

MissLinuxthePenguin**  
**

* * *

Sirius Black needed help. 

Of course, that was obvious.

He sighed turning to the devious faces sitting next to him.

"Li-"

Snickers

"You tw-"

Snickers

"OKAY I AM MA-"

Snickers

"YOU TWO SHALL BE PU-"

Gut busting Snickers.

"I AM SERIO-"

More Snickers. Black just sighed, wondering why oh why did these things always happened to him...

_"Siriussss" James Potter whined. "Can you please Babysit Harry? PLEEASSEEE?"_

_"PLEASE SIRIUS?"_

_"Pretty Please? with Sugar on top? PLEASSEEE PADFOOT"_

_"Fine."_

He sighed again, turning to the spawns of the devil.

He picked the two up, one in each arm, and started up the stairs.

The two kicked and screamed, demanding to be put down that instant...

"OR WE WILL REVERT TO INHUMANE METHODS!"

Even as a child, Remus J. Lupin was a walking dictionary.

It was enought to drive a self-respecting prankster crazy.

Which explained for Moony's multiple personalities.. but that was not the point!

As Sirius Black found himself at the mercy of two five year olds, the large grandfather clock struck seven and Molly Weasley walked in Grimmuald Place.

And as the grandfather clock struck one past seven, Molly Weasley walked out of Grimmuald Place leaving Sirius Black to fend for himself.

And through some act of miracle, Sirius Black managed to tuck Tiny Tonks and Little Remus into the two spare guest beds before passing out on the couch.

None could expect what would happen the next day, and none tried to.

Since all parties involved were... well, asleep.

And as the parties slept on, the author chuckled to herself.

The poor unsuspecting fools had no idea what would come to pass in the next chapters, but she did.

And to her, that was terribly funny.

Sighing, she turned to leave.

Stopping in the door frame to place a small package on the welcome mat (it was a rather .. rude welcome mat, but thta was expected. Especially since this was, afterall, the Home of Black).

After taking a second to chackle evilly, she closed the door. And ended her chapter.


	7. Panic at Six

**Chapter: Panic Six**

MissLinuxthePenguin

* * *

Sirius Black stared in shock at what was sitting at the kitchen table. 

Or rather, whom was sitting at the kitchen table.

There, eating toast, was... Little Remus?

No.

Not Little Remus.

Little Remus was Littler.

This, this .. boy was not Little Remus.

He was.. too big. Older. Calmer.

And there, sitting next to him was... Tiny Tonks?

Big Tiny Tonks?

Sirius Black was seriously questioning his sanity.

Seriously.

And with that he noticed a rather brightly wrapped box.

One that was begging to be opened.

And so, not wanting to upset the box, Sirius Black opened said brightly wrapped box.

And found himself faced to face with a ... penguin?

The penguin happily squeaked, then handed Sirius an envelope.

As he opened the envelope, he began to question his sanity... again...

_

* * *

_

_"Sirius Black,_

_As members of the society of care of magical children we would like to inform you exactly what has taken place in the last twenty four hours and what you should expect to take place within the next weeks. .._

_The two 'children' sitting in front of you are indeed your friends Remus J. Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. And, yes, they have been magically reversed to their younger selfs._

_You may have noticed that they look older today, and you are correct. As the potion perimeters were set that each day the effected 'adults' would age one year._

_Since magical children are of age at seventeen, your friends will revert to their original ages at that time._

_We wish you luck for these next days... And provide this schedule to, hopefully, better explain this to you._

_Day 1 - Yesterday, Age Five_

_Day 2 - Today, Age Six_

_Day 3 - Tomorrow, Age Seven_

_Day 4 - Age Eight_

_Day 5 - Age Nine_

_Day 6 - Age Ten_

_Day 7 - Age Eleven_

_Day 8 - Age Twelve_

_Day 9 - Age Thirteen_

_Day 10 - Age Fourteen_

_Day 11 - Age Fifteen_

_Day 12 - Age Sixteen_

_Day 13 - Age Sixteen_

_Remember, as their sole magical guardian you are responsible for them during this thirteen day period._

_Good Day and Good Luck,_

_The Members of the Society of Care of Magical Children"_

* * *

Sirius noticed that hastily scrawled at the end of the letter was the : _And MissLinuxthePenguin._

He looked back at the Penguin.

"So your name is Miss Linux?"

The Penguin nodded, pointing to behind Sirius at Remus.

"Remus!" Sirius asked, his voice moving up five octaves. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

The young boy simply smiled and replied "Magic."

Sirius yelped, but did not escape the wrath of wand-yielding Remus.

And there, where the once ex-convict stood... was a small black puppy.

The puppy growled, looking for all the world like Sirius Black.

But then again, that was probably because the puppy was (in reality) Sirius Black and it made a very good deal of sense that the Puppy looked like him.

And it made a very good deal of sense to think that the author was high, because there was a very high probability of that, considering what she just wrote.

But we'll ignore that for the current moment, and focus on the events occurring at 12 Grimmuald Place and leave the mental unstable author alone.

Tonks, having witness the transformation (Sirius' not the author's), was angry.

She didn't know why she was angry, but she was.

"REMUS WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU JUST DO,YOU PRAT!" Tonks gathered the small puppy in her arms, looking for all the world like Molly Weasley

Remus cowered. And personally, I would have too...

"Err..."

"YOU SHOULD BE MORE RESPONSIBLE! UGH! I CAN'T STAND TO EVEN LOOK AT YOU!"

Tonks stomped off in a huff, taking a grinning puppy with her... (leaving the penguin with Remus)

_This .. this keeps getting more and more interesting... _

Sirius Puppy Black was definitely a happy puppy now, and went to work on planning his next devious plot.


	8. Mad Eye and the Puppy

**Chapter: Mad Eye and the Puppy**

MissLinuxthePenguin

* * *

Sirius the very small puppy glanced up at his captor, shuddering at how much she looked like Molly Weasley. 

And that was no understatement - Tiny Tonks looked very angry indeed. The fact that she was mumbling about stupid boys? It only increased puppy Sirius' fear of his younger cousin...

"Stupid Remus.. I'll show him.." Tiny Tonks cackled evilly. Driving fear into Sirius' small puppy bones - After all, by blood she was a black...

It was at that instant that our third visitor (counting the penguin and little remus as visitors) arrived, creating more chaos than was really necessary.

"Bloody Door... BLACK! Your bloody front door needs fixin' Now where is the grub I was pro-"

Mad Eye Moody was graced with a rather bizarre sight when he walked into the hallway. There, sitting on the front rug was a Miniature Version of Tonks holding a Miniature Version of Padfoot.

And running out of the smoky kitchen was a Miniature Version of Remus J. Lupin - it was almost too much for an old auror like himself to take.

"Er... I um... well, you see... " Remus gulped upon hearing Moody's manic laughter "well.. the kitchen is.. um. .. on fire?"

"Boy, did you say fire?" Within an instant, the fire was doused and Tiny Tonks was extremely close to strangling her male-counterpart (Little Remus).

"Die. Maim. Kill. Harm" Of course, Remus was worried. He was locked in a crazy old house, with this crazy girl with pink hair, a crazy old guy, and a crazy dog. And his parents thought he was crazy! HA! He was perfectly sane compared to this lot...

"WOOF" Remus spun around, realizing that the crazy dog was barking at Moody. Moody muttered something, nodding as if he understood the dog. In an instant, Sirius Black was standing were the dog once was -leaving poor Remus to try to comprehend what had happened.

"Black, ya responsible for this mess, right?" Moody looked suspiciously at Sirius.

"Nope, Moody, not this time. Two red-haired devils decided to use Tonks and Remus as their latest test subjects." Remus' ears pricked up at that. Test subjects? What about test subjects?

"AH. I see. Now, where be Molly?"

"Here, Moody, I'm h-." Molly Weasley had picked a perfectly, absolutely wonderful time to arrive. After all, the kitchen was half burnt and soaked. Glancing into aforementioned kitchen she screamed.


	9. Tizzy at Seven

**Chapter: Tizzy Seven**

MissLinuxthePenguin

* * *

MEANWHILE IN Gred's and Forge's secret hiding place of DOOOOOM.

"SHE'S GOING TO GRIND OUR BONES AND MAKE US INTO BREAD!"

"CALM DOWN FRED. Mum's not a cannibal.. .. or at least i don't think she is.."

"THEN SHE'LL FIND SOMETHING WORSE THAN THAT! SOMETHING.. SOMETHING.. HORRID!"

"Like eating slugs ?"

"Worse than eating slugs."

"yelch."

"You can say that twice."

"So what do you propose we do?"

"Enjoy the sunlight- while we can."

"SHE'S GOING TO MAKE US CLEAN SNAPE'S HAIR?"

"Er.. no. as bad as that is.. something WORSE."

"Worse than that?"

"Way worse."

"But.. thats... thats..."

"Inhumane. I know, and that, George, is why we should panic."

* * *

The sun rose from its glorious resting place (aka : the other side of the world.. duh) and shone its brilliant rays onto this side of the world (aka : England, Britain, United Kingdom, etc. etc.).

Sadly, most of the rays avoided the House of Black and pushed the dark home into more darkness.

However, a small, naive ray dared to crawl into that darkness and soon found its way into the window above sleeping Nymphadora Tonks, and abruptly awoke the girl (who was now Seven years of age)

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."

Needless to say, the other occupants (Little Remus and Sirius) were soon more awake than they probably wanted to be - at seven in the morning.

* * *

"YOU'RE OLDER!" Sirius was .. bewildered. Bemused. Amused? Disturbed. Perturbed? And at that moment "AM I SANE?" the small penguin "YOU'RE STILL HERE!" waddled up to him "WHAT ARE YOU DOING" and .. poked him? "OUCH"

"SQUEAK."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand PENGUIN."

The penguin took the liberty to roll her eyes and point at the letter sitting on the table.

"What?"

The penguin was officially irritated. This man was definitely thicker than he looked

Tearing the envelope apart, and pointing to the exact paragraph of the letter, the penguin grinned. Realization had finally dawned on Sirius Black.

"OH. So they are SUPPOSE TO GET OLDER."

Tiny Tonks and Little Remus joined the Penguin, and the three of them rolled their eyes at apparently the only responsible adult in the house.

But that was a stretch of the longest variety...


	10. The List

**Chapter: The LIST**

MissLinuxthePenguin**  
**

* * *

Deciding that seven year olds couldn't be nearly as troublesome as five year olds, Sirius left the two in the kitchen and ventured in the 'living room' (hahah. as if anything had been living in there for years...) 

Digging through the dresser, Sirius finally found it, his to-do list. (dundundun)

* * *

_Sirius Black's Deviant To-Do List_

_1. Find opportune moments to tease Harry about red heads (COUGHginnyCOUGH)_

_2. Proceed to tease Harry about red heads (COUGHginnyCOUGH)_

_3. Laugh evilly as godson turns bright red (COUGH)_

_4. Practice smirking (if help is needed, write to evil disowned family members.)_

_5. Await replies from evil disowned family members._

_6. Send dung bombs to aforementioned evil disowned family members._

_7. Await angry replies from aforementioned evil disowned family members._

_8. In a fit of vindictiveness send even more dung bombs to aforementioned evil disowned family members._

_9. Await more angry replies. _

_10. Send howlers to aforementioned evil disowned family members._

_11. Find a way to get back at the twins for turning this list into a frog._

_12. Perhaps threaten to turn them into frogs and feed them to Buckbeak?_

_13. Find frogs to feed to Buckbeak._

_14. Feed tbe frogs Buckbeak_

_15. Watch as twins turn green. Cackle evilly._

_16. Tease Remus about pink-haired witches (COUGHTonksCOUGH)_

_17. Cough loudly and mutter: HOPELESS under breath whenever Hermoine and Ron are in the room._

_18. Cackle evilly as both parties turn bright red._

_19. Think of evil ways to torture Snape._

_20. After coming up with an idea, execute evil plan to torture Snape._

_21. Smirk._

_22. Repeat items 19- 21._

_23. Find charm to make this to-do list unreadable by ANYONE else._

It was an awfully long to-do list.

Awfully long.

And so, Sirius added another item.

_24.. Find way to get back at evil small Remus and Tonks._

_

* * *

_

MissLinuxthePenguin


	11. The OTHER List Part 1

**Chapter: **The OTHER List PART 1

MissLinuxthePenguin

* * *

Tonks' and Remus' List of Devious Plans

**Compiled by yours truly and **_STOP HOGGING THE PAPER REMUS. AND ME, TONKS._

**Make me.**

**Meep. Er...nevermind..**

_Back to the list._

**Yes. Good idea. 1. Steal his LIST.**

_He thinks he is so brilliant with that bloody list. EVERYBODY knows about it. _

**Even we do. And that's saying a lot..**

_2. Owl him dungbombs. _

**Not very creative, but irony is always grand.**

_grand? what are you? forty?_

_you prude. get over yourself and help me finish the list._

**FINE FINE FINE.**

**3. Convince Buckbeak to join us in our evil plotting.**

_MUWAHHA. its brilliant, with that bird thing on our side.. we shall rule the world._

**I wasn't aware we wanted to rule the world.**

_I dunno. Been a goal of mine for years._

**I see... Good idea... **

_4. Rule the World. And make him our slave. _

**Much much better.**

_Thankyou._

**5. Rig the stairs so he'll trip. On every one.**

_But we already DID THAT._

**But that was only with ONE step. Think of the possibilities...**

_I'd rather not._

STOP LISTING RIGHT NOW.

**WHO THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU?**

The author. Duh. Now you can continue your silly list later, I need to talk to the reader/reviewers.

**Fine.**


	12. The OTHER List Part 2

**Chappie : The OTHER List PART 2**

MissLinuxthePenguin

* * *

Tonks' and Remus' List of Devious Plans CONTINUED.

**(recap: **

**1. Steal his LIST.**

_2. Owl him dungbombs. _

**3. Convince Buckbeak to join us in our evil plotting.**

_4. Rule the World. And make him our slave. _

**5. Rig the stairs so he'll trip. On every one. **

**end recap)**

_6. Convince him he's balding and/or getting gray hairs._

**Brilliant. Attack him where it hurts, he's a vain fellow isn't he?**

_STOP TALKING LIKE YOU ARE FORTY, YOU PRICK. ITS SCARY._

**Boo.**

_Hahaha. That was SO funny i forgot to laugh._

**7. Convince him he's not funny.**

_He isn't funny._

**Exactly.**

_8. Tell him that Harry has run off to Australia_

_**wha?**_

_I figure it would cause some emotional trama - and some very imprompt searching all over the country.  
_

**9. Tell him that Snape is immortal.**

_I like . I like._

_10. Make Chocolate Chip Pancakes.._

**Huh?**

_Have you ever seen the MESS chocolate chip pancakes make?_

**OH. **

_Took you long enough._

_

* * *

_

"So, you want to make chocolate chip pancakes?" Remus J. Lupin was currently sporting the look of a dead goldfish. As fetching as that look may be, Nymphadora Tonks felt that it did not suit him.

"Of course." Dead Goldfish again.

"Why?"

"Because one, its fun, two, they taste good, and three, they are so MESSY."

Dead Goldfish.

"Er.."

"Just smile and nod Lupin. Just smile and nod."

Nodding Dead Goldfish.

"Good. Now, we need to find some chocolate..."


	13. Dusk and Dawn

**Chapter: Dusk and Dawn**

MissLinuxthePenguin

* * *

As the three main parties residing in Grimmuald Place finished their respective lists and began their preparations for the day's end, one could not help but think of the days to come.

A plot by two seven year olds, waiting to be carried out.

An un-expecting elder whom, in all sense, was truly not any older than the two.

An author sitting in the mists, painting her toes with a disgustingly bright shade of blue nail polish.

A reader, sleeping on the couch, waiting for the day to end and the night to begin.

A penguin waddling about in the kitchen, squeaking to herself occasionally, searching for a fish or two to eat - but not succeeding.

And the sun set on the scene, giving an end to one day and a start to another.

* * *

Nymphadora Tonks was eight. Eight years old. Tall enough to reach the sink without a step stool, smart enough not to try to bother Buckbeak. 

And preceptive enough to notice things.

To notice the constant flurry of letters delivered to the house by a snowy white barn owl.

And the laughter that came from her cousin as he read the letters.

She asked him about it once, this morning when the owl swept through the window and deposited a letter on the kitchen table.

"Cousin Sirius, who keeps sending you those letters?"

"Harry, Tonks." A chuckle rang through the kitchen, and Tonks felt she was missing something.

"He's just like his father, Tonks, just like his father."

"Prongs?" Tonks remembered Prongs. He was nice, just like Moony. They always had candy for her when they visited.

"So he finally married the red-haired lady?"

Sirius laughed for a minute, before replying "Yes, Tonks. He did."

* * *

A/N: hehehe. 

Tonks, dearest, your favored Moony just happens to be that little twerp that is helping you plot devious plots against your cousin.


	14. Nunquam scream procul a quietus werewolf

**Chapter: _Nunquam scream procul a quietus werewolf._**

MissLinuxthePenguin**  
**_

* * *

_

"Cousin Sirius? Can Remus and I make breakfeast?"

Barley looking up from the letter, Sirius nodded. The little girl squeaked in delight and ran off to find Remus. Giving her cousin enough time to realize just what he had agreed to...

"REMMUS!" Tonks screamed at her partner in crime.

He snored.

She screamed.

He snored.

She screamed again.

He screamed.

"REMMMUSSS."

"WHAT!" _Nunquam scream procul a quietus werewolf._ Never scream at a sleeping werewolf.

"WE GET TO COOK TODAY'S BREAKFEAST! ISN'T THAT _ABSOLUTELY_ EXCITING."

"What?" Tonks winked, trying to remind her partner in crime of the crime they were about to commit.

"Why are you winking like a dead seal?" Dead seals normally don't wink, but hey, whatever floats your boat Little Remus.

"CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES, REMUS. CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES."

"OOOH." Maybe there was hope for male kind. "Why?" Or not.

"BECAUSE, REMUS," Tonks said, her voice just oozing with venom. Evil, plotting venom that would kill even the most fiercest of bunnies. "WE DECIDED YESTERDAY THAT WE WANTED TO MAKE CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES!"

"Okay." Neithless to say, Tonks was very very frustrated with Little Remus. Even if he did look adorably cute...

Upon realizing what disturbing trains of thought were running amock in her mind, our poor Nymphadora Tonks ran to the sink and for the next ten minutes proceeded to attempt to wash out her eyes.

Leaving Remus to wonder why he was stuck in the bleak kitchen at such an ungodly hour.

* * *

**MEANWHILE**

**

* * *

**

"So..." Fred was, well, bored.

Very bored. So very very bored.

As bored as an author on spring break with only days left to contemplate her sanity.

And Fred Weasley was not one to bore easily. But there is a limit for even the most un-bore-able persons.

After being stuck in a secret hideaway for days with his soon to become very annoying twin brother, awaiting punishment from their power-crazed mother, he could definitely say he was bored.

"So..." George, his soon to become very annoying twin brother, was also bored, but not for the same reasons as Fred.

George has a short attention span, like most normal humans do. A very short attention span.

He had spent the last two minutes watching a spider spin its web, and now?

Well, the spider was dead, the web was in pieces, and George was bored.Very very bored. Extremely bored. It was like someone had hexed him with the boring curse. Which was, in all essence, extremely boring.

After another moment of silence, a rat scurried across the floor- and George was no long bored.

"That's it." Fred was very tired of being very very bored.

"What's it?"

"Its time to go back to Grimmuald Place."

"Okay, but its my turn to be the good twin."

Fred rolled his eyes, staring at his soon to become very annoying twin. "Fine."

* * *

**BACK AT GRIMMUALD PLACE**

**

* * *

**

"YOU WANT ME TO WEAR WHAT!" Little Remus was alarmed. Frightened. Worried. Scared. And most of all, shocked.

Nymphadora Tonks was standing in front of him holding a bright green and pink, frilly, cooking apron. She herself was wearing a bright blue and purple apron in the same style- but that was not nearly as alarming as the green and pink apron she was holding out to Remus.

"Remus" She rolled her eyes, afterall this was beginning to get ridiculous "Just put the apron on!"

"Remus." She growled.

He gulped, his voice octaves higher "Okay."

* * *

**OUTSIDE GRIMMUALD PLACE**

**

* * *

**

"JUST KNOCK ON THE DOOR FRED!" George had been the nice, or was it good, twin for only ten minutes now and had become very tired of it.

"WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BEING THE GOOD TWIN, GEORGE!"

"I GOT TIRED OF IT."

"OH GETOFF FRED, YOU KNOW YOU PREFER BEING THE BAD TWIN!"

"STOP LAUGHING YOU OVERGROWN PRAT."

"OH FOR PETES SAKE. I'LL JUST KNOCK ON THE SODDING DOOR MYSELF. THERE, HAPPY?"

"Actually, now that you mention it, I am."

* * *

**IN THE LIBRARY**

**

* * *

**

Sirius Black was trying to work on his to-do list, but he was rudely interrupted as a loud knock rang through the house - shattering his ear drums and making his brain wish that it had gone into eternal darkness when it had the chance.

Regardless, how his brain felt about the situation, Sirius Black (only in soul and body, his mind was off sulking somewhere) sprinted down the stairs and joyfully pulled the front door open.

Only to be faced with the two red-headed twins that had been the cause of all his problems.

Without thinking, remember his brain is off sulking somewhere, he dived at the nearest twin and proceeded to attempt to strangle said twin.

"GEORGE YOU AND YOUR EVIL-"

"Sorry to rain on your parade Sirius, but thats Fred. I'm George."

Fred coughed loudly, glaring at Sirius.

"NONE THE LESS, I'LL KILL FRED FIRST AND THEN I'LL FINISH GEORGE OFF."

George spent the next three minutes laughing hysterically, while Fred's eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"BECAUSE OF YOU TWO, I'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN THIS GOD FORESAKEN HOUSE WITH THE SPAWNS OF THE DE-"

Sirius' rant was rudely interrupted as a loud crash rang through the house and smoke filled the air once more.

"Dear Merlin, not again.


	15. In which Curtains Burn

**Chapter: In Which Curtains Burn  
**

MissLinuxthePenguin**  
**

* * *

_Sirius Black was trying to work on his to-do list, but he was rudely interrupted as a loud knock rang through the house - shattering his ear drums and making his brain wish that it had gone into eternal darkness when it had the chance._

_Regardless, how his brain felt about the situation, Sirius Black (only in soul and body, his mind was off sulking somewhere) sprinted down the stairs and joyfully pulled the front door open._

_Only to be faced with the two red-headed twins that had been the cause of all his problems._

_Without thinking, remember his brain is off sulking somewhere, he dived at the nearest twin and proceeded to attempt to strangle said twin..._

_

* * *

_

**MEANWHILE, IN THE KITCHEN.**

**

* * *

**

"See, I told you it wasn't THAT bad." Tonks was trying to suppress the giggles that threatened to make her implode.

Remus Lupin growled in response. Apparently, werewolves do not enjoy wearing bright pink and green frilly aprons.

But then again, most eight year old boys also share this trait (of not enjoying wearing bright pink and green frilly aprons)...

Regardless, Remus was both a werewolf and an eight year old boy, who did not enjoy wearing bright pink and green frilly aprons.

"Its... rather fetc-" Tonks could not take it any longer, the giggles surrounded her entire being and she was forced to give in.

She got a scowl for that fit of laughter.

"So do you want to make these pancakes or not?" She was still laughing, and Remus tried to scowl again but it wasn't working.

Giggle "Yes. Ye-" Giggle "s. Give me a " Giggle "Moment" Giggle "Please" GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE.

He hate giggling, as most eight year old boys do.

At some point in time, the controllers of fate let this fate slip - informing every single eight year old girl. And so, the amount of giggling in the world increased by tenfold.

And that made Remus more irritated.

"Okay... I'm finished. Shall we attempt to create as much chaos as possible?"

"I honestly swear that I'm up to no good."

"Thats the spirit, Remus!"

And so, the two eight year olds set up the task of making chocolate chip pancakes. Tonks put herself in charge of the stove, cooking the cakes, and anything heat related (since Remus, apparently, had stove-phobia and looked deathly pale whenever she mentioned it). Leaving Remus in charge of making the batter.

Their plan was going along fine, wonderfully fine. There was chocolate on the curtains, flour on the floor, butter on the table and sugar on the counter. The batter was almost ready, and Remus only barely resembled a yeti.

Things were going wonderful - that is until ..

The stove was turned on- which eventually led to the justification of Remus' fear of stoves.

But until then, the stove was simply a stove. Nothing frightening about a stove, right? Do not overlook the fact that the stove was being commandeered by a eight year old girl with bright purple hair. Now, that is a frightening stove.

Remus, like you dear reader, just realized how dearly frightening it was. And slipped (on a puddle of flour water, no doubt).

It was as if a row of dominoes had been knocked over. Remus slipped into Tonks successfully throwing the bowl into the counter and spilling its contents onto the ground, who knocked into the stove successfully lighting the curtains on fire.

Which brought us back to the present day...

_"BECAUSE OF YOU TWO, I'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN THIS GOD FORESAKEN HOUSE WITH THE SPAWNS OF THE DE-"_

_Sirius' rant was rudely interrupted as a loud crash rang through the house and smoke filled the air once more._

_"Dear Merlin, not again."_


	16. Thirteen?

**Chapter : Thirteen?**

MissLinuxthePenguin

**dedicated** to starlover11 because her reviews made me realize i should get off my lazy writters bum and write something

* * *

After rushing into the kitchen only to find the curtains ablaze, you could say that Sirius Black was not amused. 

You could even go so far as to say that he was ... serious. (MUWHAHA. the pun. you knew i couldn't resist including. THE PUN.)

While Fred and George took care of the burning curtains, "Never liked them anyway George." "Nor did I.", Sirius turned to face the two at fault.

"GO. TO. YOUR. ROOMS. NOW." He growled, turning slightly red.

The two scurried away, fearing what their 'guardian' could do in this angered state of his.

Later said guardian calmed down - and went even as far as to go fetch the two and tell them dinner was ready, but they would not forget the terrifying look in his eyes.

And opted to stay in their rooms for the rest of the day, which was a very good idea indeed.

* * *

The next few days practically flew by without a hitch. 9 years old, 10 years old, 11, and 12. 

Of course, there was the odd disaster here and there. Most notable was when Remus and Tonks took on George and Fred.

Sirius never really truly understood what took place that day, but he did know that Fred couldn't look at couches without flinching and George was oddly afraid of marshmallows.

But then again, those Weasley twins had always been odd.

Regardless, the house had remained relatively quiet and things had gone relatively well. Or at least until the eight day (12 years old) day, when realization dawned upon our favorite 'babysitter'.

After making sure that both Tonks and Remus were safely and soundly asleep, Sirius ventured down to the kitchen to have one last cup of tea before turning in for the night.

As he drank, he thought of the lasts few days. It had definitely been an adventure. Tonks and Remus were what.. twelve now? So they would be thirteen tomorrow. Only five more days left until he could have his friends back to normal.

_Wait. Thirteen?_

Swearing, he ran over to the drawer and pulled out some parchment and a quill.

_Dear Hermione and Ginny..._

_

* * *

_

THE NEXT MORNING

* * *

"HERMIONEEEEE" The younger girl shouted as she knocked on the door. 

"JUST A MINUTE!" Hermione shouted back. In less than thirty seconds Hermione stood in the doorway, dressed in pajamas and long black robes -which just happened to be a bit too long for her short frame.

"Hermione, are those Ron's robes?" Ginny eying the older girl suspiciously.

"Er.." Hermione stammered, looking as red as a Weasley, "Um.. would you believe me if I said no?"

"No."

"Well then, what was so urgent that you had to wake me up at 6:00 AM?"

Before replying, Ginny checked to make sure the hallway was empty. "Order Business. Sirius has arranged for us to floo to Grimmuald Place from Dumbledore's office in about.. ten minutes."

"Wait .Order Business? What kind of business?"

"He didn't specify, except that its only necessary you and I go."

"Oh. "

"We should probably get going."

"Er.. yes! Yes we should."

The two girls hurried off to the headmasters office, not wanting to be late for this 'urgent order business'.

"So.. Hermione?" Ginny asked as the staircase to Dumbledore's office was revealed. "What exactly are you doing wearing Ron's robes?"

* * *

"Good Morning Ms. Wealsey and Ms. Granger." 

"Good Morning Professor," The two echoed back.

"Sir," Hermione paused. "Did Sirius mention anything about this urgent order-related business to you?"

"Ms. Granger, I can assure you he only asked me to have the floo network set up for you two. He did not give me any details on whatever reason he needs your help."

And with that the two girls took their turn, stepping into the fireplace and being sent off to the house at 12 Grimmuald Place.

* * *

"Hello Ginny, Hermione." Sirius looked distraught. "Wait... are those Ron's robes?" 

Hermoine turned red once more, and promptly began to glare at Ginny.

"Okay. I'm not even going to ASK."

"Sirius, what exactly do you need our help for?" Ginny looked around Grimmuald Place - there were no deatheaters, no attacking monkeies, everything seemed to be as calm as it could be in such a place.

"Er.. well you.. er.. you two know about the predicament Remus and Tonks have gotten into, right?"

The two young witches nodded, both wondering where he was going with this.

"Well.. er.. today they're thirteeen.. and well er..."

"Sirius, just get on with it."

"Tonks is THIRTEEN."

Laughing, Ginny stared at the ex-Auror. "You called me and Hermoine out here, on 'Urgent Order Business' because you're not man enough to explain to a thirteen year old g-"

Before she could finished, a scream echoed throughout the Ancient (and VERY noble) House of Black.

"Well, just be happy we came."

* * *

A/N : AWw... poor siriius. INSERT EVIL CACKLE 


End file.
